Adventures of a Tofu Slut

The Three Sisters: A Black Opera in Three

This is what Fringe is really about. Technically based on Chekov's work (and now I want to read it to see just how much came from there), it's a wild, gothic and darkly funny piece of musical theatre about a transvestite who puts his/her three daughter up for auction in order to save the farm. Comes complete with fantastic makeup, accordions, a swing doubling as a window to great effect, and the best villian catchphrases ever ("Poooork"). Bizarre and gory and truly excellent.

Mitchell!

I hear a rumour that the AC at one of the theatres has been fixed, so I might try to get into a few of those shows this weekend - there were a bunch at that theatre that I wanted to see. Also, contemplating sneaking out early (read: making up excuses) to go see something else.

[Title courtesy of a poor woman in the bathroom before the show. Funniest thing I've heard all Fringe.]

I just noticed that two more of the shows that I wanted to see are in the evil venue from last night.

Summer is killing my fringe experience!

*weeps*

Yesterday at the Fringe I encountered two renditions of George Michael's "I Want Your Sex", two playings of Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping", and two instances of men having their nipples rubbed. The collective Fringe brain strikes again!

BoyGroove

Oh lord. This was an unbelievably funny take-off on boy bands, complete with the requisite band members (the bad boy, the sensitive one, the cute one, the gay one), perfect cheesy boy band songs and choreography, and a hilarious rise and fall story. Ok, the end was maybe a tiny bit lame, but there were so many brilliant moments that it didn't matter. Hey, the reviewer for NOW was sitting beside me, and he gave it 5 out of 5 stars.

The BIBLE: The Complete Word of God (abridged)

If you've seen The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged), you know how it goes: short, fast, funny. This was...not quite that. It felt like the show had been shortened down to an hour, because I'm quite certain they didn't manage the entire bible. And the cast weren't nearly frantic enough (although, given the diction sometimes, that's not entirely a bad thing). But they were likeable and enthusiastic, and some parts of it were entirely funny, so it was worth seeing.

SARSical

This was kind of a spontaneous Fringe moment, as I'd gone to the Fringe Club to buy an advance ticket for something else, and when I went back outside I saw that this show was just about to go in, and that they even had a few tickets left. So I got one. The show was fun: too long, but the cast was great, and David Mirvish was a character, so there was all sorts of mocking of Toronto theatre. Plus there was a brilliant video of SARS as a boy band, complete with rapper interlude. Bwa. A little to heavy on the obvious jokes and Mel Lastman got tiring (how true to life), but enjoyable.

The Hunt for Treasure

Teaches me right for going entirely from a review. I hadn't really registered this at all, and then I read a 5-star review in Eye, and it sounded good, so I went. And was alternately bored and irritated. It's about two young boys (around puberty, I'd guess) who find a treasure map and follow it, but one of them seemed like an adult, and the other was so annoying that I wanted to run away. The play itself was pretty stupid too. There were neat piano interludes, though, and they made good use of the space while following their map.

( Tentative Fringe schedule for the rest of the week )

girldetective, you interested in going to any of these?

I have new cds. Yay! All hail the power of the insurance claim. Sadly, the power of my brain is not nearly as good, because I apparently ordered two cds that I already have. Argh.

I am a big wuss, and allowed myself to be completely cowed by the scary hot theatre, so I did not go to my planned Fringe show tonight. I know, I'm a loser, I have fallen off the Fringe wagon. Tomorrow, though, tomorrow I will jump right back on, and eventually I will psyche myself back up and enter that theatre again.

Maybe.

Decisions made tonight: I think I need a new VCR. And ice cream is not worth getting dressed for, not tonight.

Oh, and finally, if you are taking part in the tea exchange, this is just a wee poke to remind you to send your tea out if you haven't done so already. I'd like to do the next round in August, but only if most people have got their tea care package by then. (And yes, I know it's summer, and who's thinking of tea anyway, but that's too bad. You'll be happy when October comes around!)

Terrible news about the explosions in the London underground. I hope all of you, and your friends and family, are safe. The early moments of any tragedy are always so difficult, when there is so little information, but of course everyone needs to keep talking about it.

And now for something completely frivolous.

The Slip-Knot

Oh, TJ. When he's on, he is entirely brilliant. This show is vintage TJ - not surprising, since it's an older show that hasn't played in Toronto before. Basically just moments from his life and random observations, told through the framework of three joe jobs he's held ("merchandiser" for Shoppers, truck driver, Canada Post trace clerk), what makes it so wonderful is his delivery and facial expressions, and the way he intertwines the three stories. The show was sold out on opening night, with people even being turned away, and it was one of the most appreciative audiences I've ever been in. Other than the fact that I was the only person who laughed at the Tsawwassen joke. Go see TJ Dawe!

The Wet Spots in Sing Your Way to Better Sex

I have seen one very funny Fringe musical about sex, and one extremely bad Fringe musical about sex. This one falls somewhere in the middle. More of a sex-ed class for adults (albeit with very funny songs), the various bits were not entirely consistently funny, and occasionally read just like straight good sex factoids ("Water based lube getting dry? Keep a spritzer handy"). Also, the multimedia production was plagued with slides that weren't timed properly with the voice-over or action on stage (although hopefully that's just first show issues). Despite the problems, though, and a couple of really lame moments, it was generally very enjoyable, and the audience was definitely having a good time. Worth seeing if you don't expect continual total brilliance.

1. Colm Feore is doing Oliver! at Stratford next season, among other things. Exciting! I love him. I saw him as Henry Higgins at Stratford in 2002 and he was awesome.

2. I have triumphed over the Fringe program, and now I have many. I win. I also win because there are many exciting things this year, including a TJ show that I haven't seen. Anyone else excited about specific shows?

3. I finished watching season 2 of The Wire last night. I can't believe it's over! Season 3 better hurry up and come out on DVD before I spontaneously combust.

4. Bernadette! Bernadette! Bernadette!

5. Same sex marriages have been legalized!* Go Canada! That makes us third, after the Netherlands and Belgium. Of course, Stephen Harper is still pouting, the twit.

*Technically this isn't about art, unless you think politics are art. The art of making alliances, perhaps?

In which our protagonists discover that they could never be on The Amazing Race, except for mistress_wanda, who is a dynamo on the road

11:30 am Whee! We're going on a road trip! vestra's friend K. got us free tickets to see Floyd Collins at the Shaw Festival in Niagara-on-the-Lake, so five of us are piling into mistress_wanda's car and heading down. It should only take us about 1 1/2 hours to get there, which leaves lots of time for K. to see all the people she knows.

12 pm Oh, look, we're stuck on the QEW and nothing is moving. Isn't that fun.

12:30 pm Pass the blue van! Pass the blue van!

1 pm Stopping for gas turns into pee break. The first moments of panic about how long it's taking us to get there set in.

1:30 pm Ok, the QEW sucks entirely, so we take an alternate highway, which in retrospect is probably a bad idea, since we can't find the exit we need, and end up doubling back to take a different exit.

1:45 pm Why is there an airshow happening? Why are we stuck behind this row of cars attempting to turn into the parking lot? And here is where mistress_wanda proves that she is the person you really want on your team when you're racing around the world, as she drives onto the (not entirely paved) shoulder of the highway, and speeds past the line of cars. Woo!

1:46 pm Unfortunately the evil green minivan in front of us was not impressed by our ingenuity in cutting the line, and is driving seriously slowly. And we're still not in Niagara-on-the-Lake.

1:50 pm We apparently have Shaw royalty in the car. After numerous phone calls received, checking on our status, we're told that they're going to HOLD THE SHOW for us. We rock.

1:55 pm K's sister is meeting us at the theatre with the tickets, so we don't have to go to the box office. Also, she's going to take the car keys from us and drive the car back to her place so that we don't have to park.

1:59 pm We drive up to the door of the theatre, throwing ourselves out the car even before we come to a complete stop. Somehow we only have 4 tickets for 5 people, but we fake our way through to the theatre, using K. (who used to work here) as a distraction.

2:00 pm (exactly) We are in our seats, on time. Go us!

2:05 pm Um, we're here! You can start the show now. Thanks.

4:45 pm I can't stop crying. That was an amazing theatre experience - a uniformly fabulous cast, with the exception of one person, and brilliant sets and staging. Oh.

5:00 pm I've never been to the Falls, so we decide to go over there, since we're in the neighbourhood - they're only 20 minutes away, supposedly.

5:30 pm Despite directions that said take the first right and then drive straight, at some point we turn off to the left, ending up on a road that is far too small to be leading to a major tourist attraction. After getting more directions, we find our way back to the main road and the security of the blue signs. We then proceed to turn right (notice, once again, not going straight), following a tour bus, which, contrary to popular belief, is not going to the Falls. Instead we end up driving around the town of Niagara Falls, until we give up and retrace our steps.

6:00 pm We made it to the Falls! We can see water! Not very well, mind you, because the entire area is blanketed in mist, but still. We drive the entire length of the Falls looking for parking, which, when found, turns out to be $18. Bitch, please.

6:01 pm We turn around and drive the other way, slowly, so I can stick my head out the window and pretend I'm seeing the Falls.

6:15 pm In a complete shocker, we get lost leaving the Falls, despite carefully following the sign that directs us to the QEW. We eventually go in a circle and end up back where we started.

6:20 pm We try again to leave the Falls. This time we follow the signs that direct us to the US border, which seems to work, and we get back on the highway.

7:00 pm Fooooood. OMG so hungry. Wait, was that the turn-off? Damn.

7:45 pm The Amazing Race narration reaches an all-time high, completely confusing the poor boy travelling with us, who has never seen the show and has no idea what we're talking about. We advise him to tune out of any conversation starting with "Run, Charla, run!"

8:20 pm I am dropped off in Toronto. Home!

Tune in next week for Further Adventures in Driving, when our happy protagonists attempt to drive all the way to Chicago, see a show, and drive all the way back, without ending up in Michigan!

*All times approximate, except for the 2 o'clock arrival at the theatre, which was dead on-time, proving once again that I am incapable of being late for anything except work.

Since vestra has gone off to Cobourg for the summer, I was fringing alone yesterday. I almost went home, too, after getting downtown, because when I got off the subway I was in the middle of a huge thunderstorm. Walking around lightening does not make me happy. Luckily, the whole thing ended a half hour after it started, so I could head off to my show.

( Death by hot pink lycra )

( Lesbian pirates, chickpea curry, and pie )

Oh, I almost forgot to mention! At the second show, they sang a song about TJ! They were doing a bit about press releases, talking about how there's one sure way to get attention for your Fringe show, and that's to mention the magic words "TJ Dawe". And then they sang a song about him. Hee.

That's it for the moment. I should have time for a couple more shows next weekend after I send my parents off, assuming everything isn't sold out. Still, I managed 14 shows in 5 days, so I think I did okay.

Three shows last night.  The fast 30 minute walk between the last two venues was a very good thing, because my butt was getting numb.

( TJ! )

( Men in pyjamas, take 2 )

( It's like we're in a Britney Spears video )

Trends so far:

Performers in pjs: 5
Discussions of/performances of bad rap: 3
Finger moustaches: 2

Today, we have planned for five.  Eep!

Yay, Fringe!  First night last night.  Our first show of our carefully planned schedule was at 7, so in true Fringe fashion I got there exactly at six to buy tickets...and of course I was the only one there, and the first person in the line-up to get in.  The line behind me grew quickly, though, so I think it was a good idea.  The show may have even sold out, which is pretty impressive for a first night.

( Who needs sleep? Well, you're never gonna get it. )

The show let out at 8:29, and in a moment of complete randomness, going against the schedule, we ran the to the venue right beside it, and just managed to get into the 8:30 show there.  Score!

( I know, I know, I know, I know, I KNOW )

After that, we didn't even bother trying to make it to the 10:30 show, which was all the way at the other end of the Fringe circuit.  Which is fine, because I think we'd both pretty much changed our minds about going to it.  And now we have a blank where we had originally planned to see 7 Sins, and can see something else!  Whee.