Adventures of a Tofu Slut

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

It was long ago decided that any restaurant would have to be a side dish restaurant, in honour of the fact that mostly we want the dessert for the whipping cream, the salad for the salad dressing, and the chips for the dip. sarcasma, this was with you, right? I'm not losing my mind? So, yeah, a restaurant where the menu consists of sauces, dips, spreads and toppings.

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?

Oh, probably locally made kitchy things, although at one point I had grand plans to open a store that sold everything to do with musicals: CDs, sheet music, posters, books, knick-knacks. Of course, then I discovered that if you went to real cities, there actually were stores like these.

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?

Definitely a romance novel. Then I could count all the ones I've read as research. Plus, you know, I always want to read one where the woman is a vegetarian, or has actual good taste in music, so I probably should just write it myself.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?

Can't I just run the school, and let someone else do the teaching? Sad to say, I'd probably be a great administrator. I don't know, maybe I'd teach the finer techniques of not being able to make small talk, and how to ignore your co-workers in 5 easy lessons.

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?

Cabaret songs, definitely. And funny songs from musicals.

( ooh, look, a Friday five that requires no actual brainwork )

There's just no way to make that seem more exciting.

1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most?

I hate washing the floors. It's not even like we have much in the way of floor in our tiny bathroom and tiny kitchen, but I just dread doing it. I put it off, and put it off, until I can actually dirt patterns on the floor. vestra, if you've ever thought that you had to wash the floors far more frequently than is your turn, this is why. *ducks*

2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing?

I like to tidy - I get great satisfaction from recycling the old newspapers, and straightening up the coffee table, or making sure everything is put back where it belongs. I don't particularly mind cleaning the bathroom (other than the evil floor), either, although my back always regrets it after I scrub down the bathtub.

3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed?

For the summer, while I was living by myself, I supposedly vacuumed every weekend, and alternated cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom weekly. This...sort of deteriorated into "no one is coming over, it doesn't matter if I clean". It's a little embarrassing to admit, but as long as things are tidy, and there isn't random stuff all over the place, I can easily ignore a little grunge, at least when I'm living alone and therefore it's my grunge.

4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules?

No, but I am easily seduced into buying multiple cleaning products, one for each fixture in the house, even though I'm sure they're all actually the same.

5. What was the last thing you cleaned?

Hmm. I cleaned the toilet and the bathroom sink on Sunday, and wiped down the kitchen counters and stove yesterday.

Oh, look, it's a Friday Five I can answer without research (I mean, I tried really hard to create a cast last week, but it was just too painful).

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?

Alarm goes off at 5:55am. Isn't that hideous? And really, I could do with another couple of minutes so that I can both make lunch *and* get to work on time, but anything before six just feels like the middle of the night to me.

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?

Do I ever. I am the queen of 12-hour sleeping on the weekend, going to bed at 11 "so that I can get a good sleep" and not waking up until 11, 11:30. Which is just so bad for me, because then the piddly 7 hours that I get during the week seems so pathetic. Plus my back always hurts from being in bed that long. Ouch. I can't seem to give it up, though, even though I love early morning Saturdays those rare times that I wake up early.

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?

Well, depending on how technical you want to get about it, listen to the radio while waiting for the weather report, get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, or pee. Oh, no, wait, I usually turn on the shower before I pee, so that the water can warm up, so I guess "turn on the shower".

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day?

On average, an hour and 5 minutes. Usually I can manage to shave a couple of minutes off that if I don't shampoo my hair that day, and I have to add a few minutes if I want to make lunch. I've tried to get it less, but I just can't seem to find anywhere to cut - all that's left is shower, dress, breakfast, teeth, go, all essentials.

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast?

Bella! Did ya eat? - authentic Jewish brunch, Sundays at the Free Times Cafe. Best brunch ever. Otherwise, any one of a dozen restaurants in Toronto. Brunch is by far my favourite meal. When I first moved here, my roommates and I would go to a new restaurant every Sunday for brunch, in order to get a good collection of favourites. There never seems to be time for brunching anymore, because people are busy or out of town, and that makes me very sad, because eating the same food for breakfast on Sunday morning as you will on Monday morning is wrong.

It's not stunningly exciting, but here it is, the Friday Five

1. Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Long or short?

Can hair be naturally long or short? Doesn't short hair require some sort of action to take place? Anyway, my hair is naturally sort of wavy -- when it's long it's straight and when it's short it tends to dry in strange waves and/or go very curly with the application of a diffuser, as I just discovered.

2. How has your hair changed over your lifetime?

Very little, really. I suppose it used to be redder, or at least that's what I remember. Other than that it's been a process of growing very long, cutting short, growing very long, cutting short, growing very long and cutting short. With a brief period of layered and feathered. Hey, I was in grade 6, okay?

3. How do your normally wear your hair?

These days, I follow the extensive routine of washing it, wrapping it in a towel, and then shaking it out with my fingers as I run out the door in the morning. It's kind of...chin length, very flippy-out on the bottom and lots of different lengths, so that I don't have to style it.

4. If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like?

Really red, long, and curly. Basically, I want Bernadette's hair. Or else short and pixie and black, but that would require an entirely different face, too.

5. Ever had a hair disaster? What happened?

Only in retrospect.

I am so not a brand person. I think this will be a very short Friday Five.

1. What brand of toothpaste do you use?

Crest, because that's what my parents always used, and I can't imagine one toothpaste works any differently than another. Or in actuality whatever they give me at the dentist in those little mini tubes.

2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer?

The one that's cheap and comes in very large amounts so I don't have to buy it very often, especially now that I live right across the street from the grocery store and can carry it home without toppling over.

3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear?

Cheap & Non-Leather. What do you mean, that's not a brand?

4. What brand of [pop] do you drink?

If I'm drinking pop, it's store brand gingerale, because as sarcasma said, it has much more flavour. It doesn't even matter which store brand we're talking about.

5. What brand of gum do you chew?

The story of me and gum: every time I fly anywhere, I buy a pack of gum -- usually Trident, because I need the little papers so that I can throw it out without getting it stuck to me. I always buy the supersize packs, use 4 pieces, and leave the rest in my bag, where I forget about them. In retaliation for being ignored the gum pieces escape from their little wrappers and stick their stale selves to everything I own, making my bag smell like some sort of mutant fruit salad. Eventually I get frustrated with sticking my hand into gum every time I reach for my keys and I throw them out, necessitating buying a whole new pack the next time I fly, even though I barely used the last pack.

Short answer: Trident.

Now this is a Friday Five I can really get into...

1. Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not?

I think I am. I mean, I know I come off that way, but some of that is just surface organization and some of that is just lack of ability to watch other people be unorganized. Sometimes, though, I feel like I can't organize myself enough to sit upright.

2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly?

I did all through school, because it was full of deadlines and rehearsals. These days, though, my life is pretty routine (which is another topic all together), so there's not really much point. I am a devoted listmaker, though, because I have a remarkable ability to forget about things I don't want to do.

3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now?

Definitely. I can't work if there's random crap all over my desk. I mean, my desk isn't empty or anything -- in fact it's covered with piles of CDs -- but each of those piles mean something specific, and ideally by the end of the day each pile will be dealt with and shuffled off to a more permanent home. I think clutter makes me somewhat anxious and mildly panicky.

4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter?

Maybe I'm just a dork, but it matters very much to me that the alphabet is well utilized in my house.

5. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to organize?

Social events kill me -- the whole "when can you be there?" and "where will we meet?" and "what are we doing?". Exhausting.

How fitting is it that something as mundane as the phone would inspire me to start with the Friday Five?

1. Do you like talking on the phone? Why or why not?

I pretty much hate talking on the phone, especially to people I don't know all that well. I'm probably the only person ever who actually *got rid* of her private line as a teenager. Although mostly, these days, I hate making phone calls. See, I can never recognize anyone's voice over the phone, so phoning anyone where there's more than one person that could answer the phone brings up all these issues -- Do I ask for the person I need even if I think it's them? Do I assume I have the right person, but be prepared for the possibility that I'm totally wrong? And what about houses where I sort of know everyone who lives there? Then I feel rude if I just ask for the person I'm calling without saying hi to whoever answers the phone, but I can't tell who it is who answers the phone, and I don't want to be one of those rude people who say "Hi, who is this?". Not to mention with the proliferation of cell phones, I'm always afraid I'm going to call someone just at the moment they're trying to buy coffee or something. It's all far too stressful.

2. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?

I guess that would be the person who called the library at 8:30 last night to find out how late we were open. Does it count as talking to someone if all I said was "9 o'clock" and "you're welcome"?

3. About how many telephones do you have at home?

"About"? I can do better than that, we absolutely, positively have one. Er, except for the ones stashed away in boxes, of which there are maybe 2. Oh, fine, about 3.

4. Have you encountered anyone who has really bad phone manners? What happened?

The only person that sticks out, and this is probably a case of bad overall manners, was a very badly timed wrong number that I got in Montreal. It was Saturday night and I'd just gotten home to find that my apartment had been broken into. I was waiting for my landlord to call me back and tell me when someone would be around to put a new lock on my door, since mine had been broken right off the door. So of course when the phone rang, I answered it, instead of screening like I normally do. On the other end was this guy, asking if I'd paged Monique. Buddy on the other end of the phone would not believe me when I said I hadn't, and kept calling me back, insisting I'd paged Monique. This finally deteriorated into nasty insults left on my answering machine (after I gave up picking up the phone), which went on until about 4 in the morning.

You know, it just occurred to me -- I wonder if the guy who broke into my place stopped to page Monique while he was there?

5. Would you rather pick up the phone and call someone or write them an e-mail or a letter? Why or why not?

Oh, dude, I'm all about the email. I already mentioned my phobias about the person answering on the other end, plus with email you don't have to make small talk! You never catch a person at a bad time, and if you forget what you were going to say, you can just finish the email later. It's all good.