Adventures of a Tofu Slut

Thank you all for your voices of experience with neck pain - I think a massage is in order, but I have to see my doctor first in order to get it covered, so I'll see how it's doing after the long weekend.

Truthfully, though, I think my body is simply completely breaking down one body part at a time. By the time I hit 35 I'm going to be a crippled old lady. Today my right heel is incredibly painful when I step on it. Nooooooo! Not being able to walk is my worst fear.

I can't wait to see what bit of my body falls apart tomorrow!

You guys, I *feel* like my cold is totally gone, but I CAN'T STOP SNEEZING. And I also have a ridiculously runny nose. This is putting a serious damper on my ability to do things. I skipped dance class last night (reluctantly, because I missed last week for New York) because, although I don't actually feel like I have a cold anymore, I couldn't see how I could dance while having to blow my nose every 7 minutes (literally). I'm unimpressed. Also, I think my co-workers are tired of hearing me sneeze. They've certainly stopped blessing me. :D

I didn't really sleep at all last night. I was a JOY to work with, I'm sure. Possibly I should have just stayed home, bu I'm sure I wouldn't have slept then either, so whatever. Tonight, though! Tonight, I will actually fall asleep. I mean, honestly, I'd better, or else I'll have to kill myself.

Also, I hurt everywhere for no good reason. My knees hurt, my shoulders hurt, my neck and jaw hurt, my feet hurt and my hands hurt. My hands hurt! Too much typing all day long. I'd really like to trade this body in for a new one, for serious.

You guys, I am SO HUNGRY all the time these days. It's a little ridiculous. My grumbling stomach was louder than the squeaking booktruck this morning, which is really saying something.

I've had the above sentence sitting up there since about 9:30 this morning. I'm actually now starting to think that I'm getting sick, that maybe this is heralding the return of lameass stomach problems, because of other clues. Which is totally my own fault CLEARLY, because I was recently exclaiming that I hadn't had any stomach pain in a couple of years. OH BODY. I really do not want a return of that issue.

Having a body is really complicated, you know? I feel like I spend a ridiculous amount of time worrying about it, and checking in on it, and wondering if things are going wrong.

To distract myself over the past week from my miserable throat and hideous coughing, I have, among other things, read three Georgette Heyer books, and the last Harry Potter (finally). And then I went searching for months-old opinions on HP, because I remembered lots of people saying they didn't like the epilogue, and I was curious about that. It was interesting.

I think I'm still to sick to go to my dance class tonight, which sucks mightily. I hate missing the first class. But it requires a little more energy than I have right now, especially since I first have to go out and buy some groceries, what with being out of food and all.

I've decided that 2008 isn't going to officially start until next Monday. Because the new year always feels like a fresh start, but there's no fresh starting while I'm sick. So I'm putting it off. So there!

All my holds except for two came in at once (my own fault, I put them all back on active when I got back from Victoria, without realizing how close they all were). So what should I read next?

[Poll #1118464]

(Note: In case you're worried that I had so few books on hold, I've been trying to empty the list out and start again. New year, new library hold list!)

It seems HIGHLY UNFAIR that the picture on my DVD player just..disappears on the very day when I'm home from work with a cold.

Bugger.

I am feeling old these days. Old and boring.

HOWEVER.

...damn, I was really hoping I'd come up with something exciting to put there.

***

I've been waking up at 4:30 every morning. I suppose, if one has to wake up in the middle of the night, it's not a terrible time to wake up -- after all, I can still go back to sleep for a while. Better than waking up at 5:30, that's for sure, because waking up at 5:30 means getting depressed over how soon the alarm is going on, working myself into a panic trying to get those last few minutes of sleep, finally falling asleep at 5 minutes to 6, and then being rudely woken up with the alarm 5 minutes later. That's no fun at all.

I do find it odd that I'm so regularly waking at 4:30, though. Maybe I've been programmed! Maybe I'm really a sleeper spy. I should work on my fighting skills, in that case. And my wig collection.

***

Today I came home from the library with a huge bag full of holds (I have to counteract the dwindling to-be-read shelf, after all) and sat and read the first chapter of each, something I haven't done in years. It was always my way of picking which book to read first -- the one where I didn't notice that I'd moved on to the next chapter. And now I know for sure that I have a passel of delightful books waiting for me.

***

Speaking of things to read (...sort of), where is the EW Fall TV Preview? I am anxiously awaiting it, here! Never mind that I don't have cable, I still want to read about what I'm not going to be watching. I heard that the Designer Guys have a new show this fall! I kind of love them. I miss extended cable time-waster shows -- I want to take a vacation that involves me staying in Toronto (so I don't feel guilty about not exploring wherever I am) but being somewhere with all the cable so I can lie around all day, watching home decorating shows, and makeover shows, and cooking shows.

And now we all understand why exactly I got rid of the cable.

***

I made two actual meals for myself this week, and have been living off the leftovers. One, curried chickpeas and tofu, is something I used to make all the time. I don't know why I stopped -- other than chopping onions it's pretty effortless. The other was an attempt to use the chipotle that's been opened. It was a vaguely Caribbean wrap of some sort, involving black bean chipotle hummous, and red peppers and cabbage. It was ok, I guess. The hummous was good, although I couldn't taste the chipotle and my wee food processor wasn't entirely up to the taste of chopping everything up, so it's not super blended. And now I have tortilla shells left, so I am going to think of something else to make with them. Also the rest of the red cabbage. And I'm going to think of it quickly, so that I'm not buying groceries on Sunday. Seriously, never again. That's 3 weeks in a row I've gone to the store on Sunday, only to find them out of the most ridiculous things: this week, it was garlic, cabbage, chick peas, tofu, and my soy milk. CRAZY.

I woke up at 3:30 last night with the cold that I had been trying to hold off all weekend. Mrrrr. So now I am sneezy and dripping and oh so very attractive. (tinkerer and gingerale_kitty, this means I won't be coming with you tonight. I'm sorry! It sucks, but I don't think clinging to a wall is the best place to be with sneezes of this magnitude. I'd probably propel myself right across the room.)

Maybe I can blame the cold for how tired I was this weekend. I'd like to blame the weird-ass rash on the cold, too, but that might be stretching a little.

Next weekend is Easter! I only just discovered this while looking at my calendar this morning. Woohoo long weekend! I wish I'd realized a little sooner that it was coming up, because I'd really like to do something, go somewhere maybe, take advantage of my long weekend. Although, if I'm going to be sick, maybe not. Still, if I spend 4 days at home doing nothing, I will totally feel like I wasted the time off. So I'm going to have to look around -- I've probably left it too late, but I kind of want to go to a retreat or something like that, somewhere where they'll feed me and I can read and wander through the woods. Although I'm not sure that would be entirely fun by myself. Hmm. I was briefly temped to fly down to New York, but I don't have my renewed passport back yet, sadly, and I only have 4 days, which would mean I'd be spending most of the time in transit. I don't know! It's not the best time of year for vacationing, at least not locally. I may be pretending it's spring, but I think we all know better.

Meanwhile, I'm going to fill myself up with all sorts of things that probably won't do anything to ease the cold up, but at least I'll feel like I'm trying. Also, I'm going to eat my yummy rice pudding that I didn't have time to eat this morning, because it was far too busy.

Things:

-Someone sent me a virtual rose! You, mysterious person, are wonderful.

-Iceland keeps sending me e-mails. I think they want me to visit.

-The 4th (3rd?) annual single girls' Anti-Valentine's Day celebrations last night were fabulous. There was cleavage, there were tiaras, and of course many drinks, obnoxious conversation and very loud laughter. And then we all tottered home in the snow in our heels.

-I, apparently, want to be just like mystery_diva, because I also have tendinitis. I don't get an exciting support, though, because mine is in my foot. The annoying thing is that I can't wear any shoes that hit the back of my achilles tendon, because it's very painful. This, of course, includes all my boots. And of course last night and today we got much snowfall. The shoe thing is going to be a bitch. The disturbing thing is that my foot creaks when I flex it. SO WEIRD. But I can't stop doing it, and freaking myself out.

-My foot actually hurts even without shoes. Dammit.

-I feel like this has been a wasted work at week. Except that I have actually been working very hard and getting lots done, but somehow...it totally doesn't feel like it. It's not fair, you know? Where's my satisfaction?

-I am short on food of the edible kind at home (because I was laaaaazy this weekend and didn't go buy groceries), but I can't even think of what I want to buy. Plus there's all that snow. Is it still dinner if it's just veggie pate and dried cranberries? Separately, of course.

-You know what today needs? More tea.

I have a headache.

I don't like taking medication when I get headaches. This is not for any good reason other than stubbornness. Mostly it's that I feel like the headache is winning if I let it annoy me enough that I actually do something about it. But this headache is in a new and exciting place, providing new and exciting pain, and has been here since I got up this morning, so I broke down and took pills.

Which did nothing.

And when I move my head it feels like my brain is sloshing around inside. Also like my neck is tiny and will break like the stem of a flower.

* * *

My parents have far more exciting lives than I do. Isn't that sad? They're out almost every night of the week, at choir, Scrabble, book club, games night, playing bridge or pinochle, going to the opera or plays, having dinner with friends. And they both still work full-time, so I can't even use that excuse.

Every Sunday when I talk to them I am embarrassed by the fact that they have many more social events and activities to relate than I do. You can hear the sympathy coming down the line when my mother asks me what I did on the weekend and I have to admit that I barely even left the house. I have got to get a better social life. Or at least start making shit up.

* * *

I am craving apple crumble. In a big way. So it's probably a good thing that my oven doesn't really heat up properly.