Adventures of a Tofu Slut

My work loses at being a Canadian stereotype. Someone sent us a CD that came with a $2 Tim Horton's coupon, and no-one wants it.

...which is not what I really intended to say.

My mom wants a vest for Christmas -- you know, the kind that everyone used to wear in the late 80s and that you don't see anywhere anymore, the kind that come with men's three piece suits. Has anyone seen these lately? I have no idea where to find one.

You'd think after 5 years I'd be able to shop in Toronto. But every Christmas I think of things that I can't figure out where to buy them here. It's not that they're not available, but that I just don't know where or what the store would be. I have about three things that I'm struggling with right now, a vest being one of them.

Speaking of Christmas, there is an Amazon package waiting at the post office, and none of it is for me! Sad.

ps. Happy birthday angiv! Have a wonderful day.

Things I am thinking about today:

1. Sugar. Or rather, I'm thinking about not thinking about sugar. Once again, I'm attempting to not eat sugar (for some unspecified length of time that should probably be at least a week but will be unlikely to last that long, especially with the weekend coming up). And, of course, it's all I can think about. My boss brought back some candies from her trip to Italy, and there's one left, sitting on the counter beside me, and TAUNTING ME. With its voice inside my head and its mocking. I can see it out of the corner of my eye, and I swear it's doing a little dance. Augh!

2. My pants, which I only bought on Saturday, and which I think are just that tiny bit too short, so that they cross the line from "do not make me look like a 5-year-old dressing in her mother's clothes" to "complete and utter loser". Tragique!

3. My pants, again, because I just found a tag partway down the thigh that says "REMOVE BEFORE WEARING OR WASHING". There is no other information on that tag. There is no need for that tag. Why is the tag even there in the first place?

4. Why I could never get a TiVO. Because, judging by the scary crap that Launchcast is trying to pass off as matching my genre preferences, and the weirdass stuff that Amazon is throwing into my recommendations, my preferences cannot be predicted. My brain is impenetrable! This will be good if ever the brain-sucking aliens land on Earth.

5. What a big joke it will be on sci-fi writers everywhere if we really are the only populated planet in the only populated universe, and we never end up leaving this planet for any length of time.

6. Gilmore Girls, which is totally not keeping my interest this season. I'd stop watching it, but I've been watching from the very first episode, so I feel somewhat proprietary, and can't quite let it continue on when I've invested so much time in it. I am incapable of giving up shows once I've put that much time into them. I think I'm worried that they'll get better and then I'll want to start watching again, but I'll be out of the loop. The only show I've successfully given up after years of watching dedicatedly is The X-Files, which I think I stopped watching the year that Duchovney left. Oh, and I stopped watching Angel after the first two seasons, mostly because it was on at a bad time and none of my roommates were at all interested, but then I repented and went back to it in season 4 and eventually bought all the dvds. So that doesn't really count as successful.

7. But Lost just keeps getting better and better. My love of this episode, though, is, I'm sure, partially to do with the fact that ( spoilers for this most recent episode )

8. The difference between bad acting and lame characters. I think Evangeline Lilly is not a very good actress (although I'm willing to believe that she has the potential to get better, since she doesn't have much experience yet) -- she doesn't manage to portray the emotion that the character is given, and as a consequence always looks somewhat confused. On the other hand, I don't think the character of Charlie is very interesting, but I think Dominic Monaghan does a great job portraying him.

9. For that matter, the difference between characters I don't like in a personal sense (as in, I wouldn't want to be stuck in a room with them, or they're complete bastards), but they are very fun to watch and/or are excellent as part of the story and often I love them very much, and characters that I find irritating and useless. To wit, Locke, who I often find completely irritating and faux know-it-all, but he's such an awesome character because of that, and, well, sorry, Charlie again (or at least he's the closest anyone on this show comes to that position. A more accurate choice would be Marissa on The O.C. or Taylor on Gilmore Girls, but that would ruin my perfect symmetry. Unless I went with Paris vs. Taylor).

10. This very cool thing I found on the internet, except I'm not going to tell you what it is, because I think I'm going to attempt to buy it for people for Christmas, if I can figure out where the person who was talking about it found it in the first place.

11. Indeed, what the hell I'm going to buy people for Christmas, and why nearly everyone I know has birthdays right around Christmas, which means that I have to come up with two brilliant ideas at once, which hurts my brain.

12. Pirates.

I just went outside (I've instituted a new 'move your ass at least every hour so that you don't become mesmerized by the computer' policy on myself after realizing that I lost 5 minutes yesterday staring at the reflection of my lamp on the screen), and...I kind of wish I'd brought a cardigan. Or at least not dressed like it was still 40 degrees with smog of death out there.

I can't believe I just said that.

No, wait, I take it back! It's wonderful! I love the cooler weather! Please, don't gooooooo!

Meanwhile, in other sartorial experiences, it's time to admit that I don't own any clothing that isn't stained or unravelling. In fact, it's time to claim that as part of my look. Stains are totally the new black, don't you know. It's very distracting, though -- every time I look down at the keyboard I see a flash of something on my shirt and go through the same conversation with myself:

Hmmm, what is that?

*attempt to brush it off*

*see it's still there*

*look closer*

Damn. Smudge. And I haven't even eaten my yogurt yet.

*lick finger and use time-honoured mother-tested smudge removal method*

*fail*

Sigh.

*break down and use water*

*realize that just makes stain more noticeable as it's now surrounded by a big wet circle*

*cry*

*resolve to pretend stain doesn't exist despite all evidence to the contrary*

*get distracted by shiny thing*

[Five minutes later]

*look down at keyboard*

Hmm, what's that on my shirt?

I just bought two pairs of very expensive (for me, queen of Payless) shoes: real shoes for running, the kind that don't come from Zellers and are actually fitted properly, and Birkenstock sandals. I'd been thinking about the Birks for ages, because I have had a terrible time finding sandals this year, and it's so important to me to have shoes that I can *walk* in, for hours on end, because that's what I like to do in the summer. Anyway, I'd been making do, but yesterday I went out walking (and it was glorious, and I was deliriously happy, and if I ever thought that my moods weren't defined by the weather, well, I was an idiot) and came home with ENORMOUS blisters. Real blisters, too, not just rubbed sore spots. So I gave in and bought the damn sandals that I know work for me, although I will probably have this sick feeing in my stomach about the leather thing for ages, my feet will be happy.

I also bought socks, and a new shade of blush. OMG MY LIFE IS SO EXCITING.

I don't really like shopping much. It's fun as a social thing, or going along with other people while they're doing the shopping, but I pretty much hate doing it for myself. I think this is because I really hate having to ask people for help. Or maybe I hate feeling like I don't know anything. Or maybe I just don't like the attention, I don't know.Also I always feel like store clerks are laughing at me. So it takes me a while to work up the courage to buy things that I can't just pick out myself, like shoes that aren't from Zellers. I did ok in Running Room because there was no-one else there so the guy came up right away, but I nearly left the other shoe store before anyone had a chance to come up to me, and I must have walked by the MAC counter about 5 times before I was willing to say anything.

Whatever, it's done, I have shoes, I'm going out running tomorrow with my new comfy shoes and the summer running clothes I bought at MEC on Friday, and it'll be very fun. I'm picking a new route, though, one that doesn't have the evil hill of death that NEARLY KILLED ME last time.

Meanwhile, I have finally watched every single DVD I own except one, including commentaries and extras, and I am feeling bereft. I really should stop "accidentally" looking at Amazon, eh?

Happy birthday felinitykat! I hope it's been a fantastic day. :)

***

I am sick again. It's like some sort of cosmic joke. Can't I even have a week in between colds? I did manage to come to work this morning, though, so hopefully it'll be a milder version. Not that I wouldn't welcome the time to sleep and watch DVDs, but my boss is going to start thinking that I'm making it up if I take many more days off.

***

My shoes are making a very annoying squeak when I walk. It only just started, too - if they'd been doing this when I left the house I could have changed them. But no, they had to wait until I was at work before acting up. Argh.

***

And finally, attention, fans of George! Live audiences in Toronto! All this week they're giving away tickets to people watching the show -- I emailed last night, but I wasn't fast enough. Tonight, though. It will happen.

Today I am wearing a pale pink tank top.

This is a momentous occasion.

I haven't owned anything pink since I was about 12, other than one pair of obnoxious hot pink jeans (with zippers at the ankles!) in grade 9. I hate pink, which is not surprising, considering that until I was 10 I wouldn't wear any other colour (usually in dresses -- I was a supreme girly girl as a kid); I think I overdosed and had to go cold turkey. I have also had a deep-seated belief that pink of all shades looks terrible on me, given the vaguely orange colour of my hair and the pale but often bright red nature of my skin.

But last time I was out shopping with starfishchick, the sales woman at one store brought me a new size of a shirt, and brought it in a pale pink that she swore would look great on me. I laughed and mocked, but tried the shirt on, and it looked...okay. Possibly even good, although I was too scared by the colour to admit that. And then a few weeks later I was in that same store, buying tank tops which I loved but came in very few colours that I could imagine wearing (because it's summer, and I can't wear anything in the stores right now), and after telling myself that there really is a limit to the number of black and various red-like tops that one person can own, I found my hand inching to the pale pink.

I probably stood there for 5 minutes, debating the colour with myself. But the need to own more tank tops won out, and here I am. Of course, I had to balance the sweetness of the pink with a black skirt, black tights, grey and black striped knee high socks, and black Docs. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have made it out the door this morning.

I think it's time for a return to the toga.

Every piece of clothing I have is falling apart. My shoes all are coming apart at the seams* (even, sadly, my winter boots, which means walking through snowdrifts is a very wet proposition), my coats are ragged at collar and cuffs. My shirts have convenient thumbholes, my pants are attempting to declare themselves free from the tyranny of belts, and my skirts are making the fashion choice that they all need to be longer. Last night my pjs basically disintegrated around me. Putting on socks requires strategic planning to avoid the holes, and even my gloves are unravelling. All I can say about the underwear is that it's a good thing no-one else has to see it.

I'd like to throw it all out and start again. Right now. (That high-pitched noise is the sound of my bank account laughing hysterically at me.)

*Actually, it's the shoes that are the most worrisome. I try really hard to buy non-leather shoes - the only leather shoes I have are my tap shoes and my Docs - but it's getting really difficult. Not to mention the fact that I also buy cheap shoes, which don't last all that long, which means I have to replace them far too often. Last summer I struggled along in a pair of not particularly comfortable sandals because I couldn't find anything to replace them, and I was *this close* to breaking down and buying Rockports or something like that. Angst! Augh.

I am very disappointed in all you people who actually like green peppers. NO LOVE! Do you at least agree with me on the wrongitude of beets?

zoje_george wins for reminding me that I have to go to the bank so that I can actually pay the damn movers, and sh1mm3r has the most class for suggesting that I inform my neighbours that there will be people tromping up and down the stairs. Probably a good idea, considering how many heads popped out of apartments as we dragged vestra's dresser down the hall last night. I actually went and picked up my keys this afternoon, and today after work I'm heading to the new apartment armed with a measuring tape to figure out where the furniture will fit.

Also, I'm not sure how I managed to forget pyjama* bottoms and tank top, considering that's what I wear (at least when there are other people around). Durr.

Finally, because eanja asked and in the interest of completeness, I'm already at the most basic level of cable, I can have high-speed (cable) internet without a land line but I'd need a land line to go back to dial-up, and I've already decided to try live with just the cellphone, assuming my new landlords can hook the intercom up to my cell like they said they could. I'm probably going to take all your advice and see if I can cancel my EW subscription, though. Sigh.

*Look, yiskah, I'm using the correct spelling now. Actually, I had a conversation with someone last week about which spelling was right, because I randomly waffle back and forth. I can never decide what looks better!

So Maybe I Don't Entirely Hate Christmas After All. I'm in a much more festive mood today, possibly because I've been ignoring all the Christmas CDs on my desk in favour of dealing with the raft of Grammy nominations, none of which involve the words "Santa" or "Holly". Plus I have a candy cane, and the possibility of a singalong Messiah. VOLKORNBROT!

Aaaaand there's probably no-one reading at this point who gets the reference. Nevermind.

Candy Is Dessert Too, Right? Today I smell like licorice, courtesy of licorice soap from starfishchick and Absinthe from BPAL.

Fall under the spell of our Green Fairy! An intoxicating blend containing wormwood essence, light mints, cardamom, anise, hyssop, and the barest hint of lemon.

Whoa, licorice. Which I like, but I'm sure would cause many other people to run screaming from me. Luckily by the time I left the house the anise had faded, and other things had come through, namely the cardamom and something green, possibly the wormwood and hyssop. I like it, but it's fading quickly.

Wednesdays Are The Best Day Of The Week. ( LOST )

Where's My Toronto Camouflage? There's some sort of event happening downstairs that involves tables of free food. I was going to go down and see what I could score, but I noticed, as I was leaning over the railing, that everyone was wearing black. I think my brown and jean look would have been highly suspicious. The perils of being a west coast hippie in the big city.

Love Is In The Air, Quite Clearly. Those of you who are posting such wonderful things about the people on your flist, it's really lovely. There isn't nearly enough gratuitous ego-stroking in the world.

Yeah, I Got Nothing. I'd be defriending me right about now, too. :D