*stamps stress back into hole*
Jan. 28th, 2005 11:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
listersgirlThank you, people, for calming me down last night. I hate it when I get like that, because I like to think of myself as a capable, competent person who can deal with things on her own. In fact, it's vitally important to my emotional wellbeing that that's true. Being single, and knowing that's not going to change, I've built an image of myself (for myself, too - this isn't about how other people see me, but how I see myself) that is completely self-sufficient, and doesn't need anyone else. This is why I hate asking for help* and hate not being able to deal with everything completely on my own. I can't let myself feel like life would be easier if there were someone else to share in the problems and decisions, or else I will fall into soul-sucking depression. I mean, two Januaries ago I couldn't get my new DVD player hooked up, and I was hideously depressed for ages, because I felt useless and incapable of being an independent person. Over a DVD player. Loony, I tell you.
Anyway, all this is to say that I was totally overreacting, but this whole move has been one big trigger issue, since it's the first one I've ever had to do by myself, and it's so important to me to be capable of taking care of myself. Plus, you know, I don't just want somewhere to live, I want somewhere to live that is cute, and makes me happy, and is inviting to other people.
It's all good, though. I'm fine now, and you all gave me some great suggestions, and I think I have a plan. Of course, I'd have a better idea of whether this plan will work if I'd measured the room yesterday, but pfft. I realize now that it doesn't matter. I have a feeling the One Chair isn't going to fit through the door, but that's what movers are for, and it won't kill me to sit on the floor for a while.
*For instance I really felt that I needed someone else there with me when I moved, and it took me days to allow myself to ask if anyone could come by. I just hate it - hate making anyone beholden to me.
Anyway, all this is to say that I was totally overreacting, but this whole move has been one big trigger issue, since it's the first one I've ever had to do by myself, and it's so important to me to be capable of taking care of myself. Plus, you know, I don't just want somewhere to live, I want somewhere to live that is cute, and makes me happy, and is inviting to other people.
It's all good, though. I'm fine now, and you all gave me some great suggestions, and I think I have a plan. Of course, I'd have a better idea of whether this plan will work if I'd measured the room yesterday, but pfft. I realize now that it doesn't matter. I have a feeling the One Chair isn't going to fit through the door, but that's what movers are for, and it won't kill me to sit on the floor for a while.
*For instance I really felt that I needed someone else there with me when I moved, and it took me days to allow myself to ask if anyone could come by. I just hate it - hate making anyone beholden to me.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-28 06:08 pm (UTC)