listersgirl | How I learned to stop worrying and climb a fence

That was the weirdest Thanksgiving weekend weather I have ever experienced - Saturday it was HOT and HUMID (hot enough that I was wearing sandals and capris and a tank top! In October!) and then in the middle of the day there was a MASSIVE thunderstorm. My power went out three times. And then Monday it was 30 (feels like 37!) in the evening. Craziness.

(We interrupt this story to apologize to everyone who called or emailed over the last week while I was miserable and off the grid. I just read everything, and will email you back. Also, make my scrabble moves. Heh.)

ANYWAY, on Saturday after the thunderstorm ended (and I, erm, finished watching HIMYM season 2, which I devoured non-stop), I decided it was too nice to stay inside, and I should be depressed while walking (pedewallowing?) instead of sitting around. So I walked the Belt Line route. Unfortunately, by the time I got to Mount Pleasant cemetery, I had rubbed some of the skin off my feet because I hadn't worn sandals in ages, so rather than follow the proper route (which,
because I hadn't looked too closely at the map, I thought was another 45 minutes through the cemetery (hey, it's a big cemetery)) I decided to just walk south through the cemetery, which would get me closer to the bus that would take me home. Except I sort of got lost. It's very twisty in there! I eventually found a map, and made my way to the southwest corner, only to find that the gates were locked (the whole cemetery is fenced in). Now, the map I'd looked at didn't list this as one of the pedestrian entrances, so I was mostly just annoyed at myself for not paying closer attention.

After checking out the map again, I walked (or mostly limped by this point, because my big toes were nearly bleeding - if only I hadn't decided summer was over and taken the bandaids out of my bag!) back to the place I had come in, where I discovered...I was locked in. Yes, that's right, I was locked in Mount Pleasant Cemetery. Apparently they have hours of operation! Whoever heard of a cemetery with hours of operation?

So, I had no idea what to do at that point. All I could think was that if I were locked in the cemetery overnight, at least I'd probably be safe, because WHO ELSE WOULD BE STUPID ENOUGH TO GET THEMSELVES LOCKED IN A CEMETERY OVERNIGHT? I tried calling the office, but of course it
was closed. The fences are wrought iron bars, taller than I am. And it was starting to get dark. In a moment of denial, I decided to walk (along the original path that I'd rejected because it was too long) to the other marked pedestrian entrance, in...hopes that they'd forgotten
to lock it? Seriously, I have no idea what I was thinking. Anyway, as I was walking, I hit this pedestrian underpass, with a road running over it, and I saw that up the muddy hill, behind some bushes, was one of those criss-crossy metal fences, and it was shorter!

So I slid my way up the hill (if you can do such a thing), to the fence that was pretty much chest height. Better than over my head, right? You know, they say that in moments of panic you have more strength than usual, and I think they're totally right, because I actually (eventually) managed to lift my body weight onto the fence, using that "hands on the counter, hoist yourself up to sitting" manoeuvre that never works for me and my wimpy arms. (I knew it
wouldn't work to go at in frontways, despite the fact that it would require less effort from my invisible triceps, because I've seen myself rock climbing, and I can't even remotely get my leg up to chest height.) And then I managed to balance on the tiny little metal bar, and swing my legs over, all without falling on my face. Victory! I escaped!

Of course, the sad conclusion to this story is that I did not escape on the side of the cemetery where the subways are, so I had to walk for another 20-30 minutes to get to the subway, and if I thought my feet hurt before... But I rewarded my ingenuity with a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Meanwhile, the result of all my "lock myself in the apartment (except when I have to go to work) and ignore all human contact" is that I am declaring emotions are lame and I don't want to have them anymore. Also, too much thinking is a terrible idea. So from now on, whenever I find myself THINKING or FEELING I'm going shove that into a corner of my brain and distract myself with a book or a movie or a non-adventurous walk. Or a bottle of wine. Cheers!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

orionnebula.livejournal.com

Your fence adventure sounds crazy. I'm glad that you were able to escape! I can't imagine being locked in a cemetery overnight would be very cheerful, and you need some cheer.

From:

I have lost the end of my yodel

How I learned to stop worrying and climb a fence

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