A deltoid and bicep

[listersgirl]

Gym culture is very different in the mornings than it is in the afternoons. People seem somehow more hardcore -- or possibly just more grimly determined, which makes sense, because, hi! It's 6:30 in the morning. I can think of a good 20 things I'd rather be doing at that point, and most of them have some variation on the word 'sleep' in them. It's obviously the lack of sleep that makes everyone look so dour.

The hardcore thing means you get more of the scary Gym Men, the ones who look like they would beat you down if you dared to take their barbell. The ones who wear the padded shirts. And what is up with those padded shirts, anyway? What is the point? Do they need to fool themselves in the mirror in order to motivate themselves? Maybe underneath it all they're really just stick figures.

You also get the freaky Gym Women, who are sweating buckets on the stair climber when you get there, and are still going when you leave, 90 minutes later. I understand, weight loss blahblahblah, but can't you find anything else to do with your time?

[There was more that I had to say, something about always running into people because our patterns are so set, but that was this morning, and now it's after lunch and I don't remember anything. So I'm going to post this bit and pretend that was the sum total of everything in my brain.]

Comments

[anglaisepaon.livejournal.com]

You've forgotten the scary baseball/football/basketball obsessed guys that would beat you down and kill you for the stairclimber by the TV.

Gym culture is le weird.

[listersgirl]

Or the folks who sit in the change rooms, watching the TV. That can't be the most pleasant environment.

[zoje-george.livejournal.com]

It makes me want to shake Charles Atlas by the... hand.

Great, thanks. Now I have that song in my head.

[listersgirl]

A little Tim Curry never hurt anyone.

[tinpanalley.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed by people who can study and exercise at the same time! I mean, you're already doing something not altogether pleasant, why add something else?

Plus, these people are studying scientific essays and massive law books? Who can read and concentrate on all those little letters when you're moving fast and sweating hard?

[listersgirl]

Oh, I know! I can manage magazines while I'm on the treadmill/elliptical/exercise bike, because I can hold them so that they're moving along with me, but books do me right in.

If I didn't think it would drive the people around me batty, though, I'd probably use language tapes. :D

[protoainsley.livejournal.com]

Oh, gosh, yes; I can handle a magazine, but books physically won't cooperate with me on any gym equipment. Such a shame, really.

[jeejeen.livejournal.com]

Ha ha! You just described what it was like when i used to work out in the mornings at Bally Total Fitness. Fuck I hated those morning workouts.

[listersgirl]

I think I like it better than after work, though - in the morning, everyone is still in a daze because they haven't woken up yet, but after work they're all cranky and aggressive and LOUD. Blech.

[emiline.livejournal.com]

I went to the gym at a different time yesterday for the first time, and it was a very different atmosphere. Even though the morning people seem a lot more hardcore, I felt more comfortable with them than the after work people. It felt a bit more like everyone was so tired they don't bother to care what anyone else is doing, but people kept watching me in the afternoon and it freaked me right the hell out. I just wanted to yell, "What? Have you never seen anyone use this machine before? Piss off!"

[listersgirl]

Oh, definitely. I'm just finding it a little freaky that I see the exact same people every day at the exact same places, because of course we're all getting there at the same time every day so that we get out of there at the same time in order to get to work.

Or possibly I'm just happy because there was a very annoying woman who I used to see after work all the time and she drove me nuts. No more!

[emiline.livejournal.com]

Once I actually start getting a gym routine down, I'm sure I'll get a little freaked out by seeing the same people over and over.

There was one morning that a woman was singing very loudly (and for quite a while) in the showers, which was amusing at first, but it grew annoying. I have no idea who it was, though, so I can't even be all avoid-y if I see her.

*confused*

[sarcasma.livejournal.com]

The where? The... g... gh... how do you even pronounce that? "Gym." Is the "y" a vowel, here? What's going on? Where am I? WHAT ARE THESE GIANT SADDLEBAGS OF FAT WHERE MY LEGS USED TO BE?

Re: *confused*

[listersgirl]

I don't know about you, but my giant saddlebags are here to keep my stomach rolls company. They get lonely, yo.

Re: *confused*

[sarcasma.livejournal.com]

My stomach rolls should be ACHING for loneliness. There are so many of them!

[mellyflori.livejournal.com]

Dude. So true. And you see the same four women in the locker room every morning. And eventually you see those same four women naked. Because they can try to hide shit but sometimes the towel slips one way and sometimes another and then there you are and you've got this composite naked of them and you're like "Dude, nice butt, but not in the gay way." I was just thinking about that this morning as I got dressed with Cara, Linda, and Joanne for the 10millionth time.

[listersgirl]

So true. The same woman has walked into my shower and backed out again, apologizing profusely, for the past 3 mornings.

One of the things I love about my gym is that no-one even pretends they're not naked. Everyone just walks around starkers. Of course, they could all be hiding under flesh-coloured body suits, for all I can see without my glasses.

[pescana.livejournal.com]

Am I the only one who likes to exercise? I don't go to the gym often, and I prefer to have it to myself when I do (we belong to a neighborhood club with a little fitness room), but still. Running! In the woods! Trees and air and sunshine and dirt and bugs and everything!

I'm not fond of the weird gym people either, especially the two girls who forced us all to watch the strip club episode of VH1's Surreal World. FUCK OFF, STUPID GIRLS. I want the radio on the 80s station, not weird freak scary people on the television.

Um. And I will now run off singing more Rocky Horror, thank you very much zoje_george.

[listersgirl]

My problem is that I am naturally a very sloth-like person - I would much rather sit than do anything else. So while I often enjoy things like weights and running while I'm doing them, the effort to get me going is enough to power a small village for a week.

And I've discovered that the best way to ignore the gym people is to put the headphones on before you leave the changing room, and not take them off until you shower. That way everyone turns into some sort of weird music video or montage.