Welcome to the OLP

I am officially both extremely old and a walking, talking, single person cliché: I spent my Saturday night alone, eating delivery pizza* and defrosting my freezer, and I just called the cops on some kids who were setting of firecrackers in the alley behind my apartment.**

*The delivery guy started smirking after looking in my apartment and seeing I was alone. This is why I can't handle delivery! I feel pathetic enough without the silent commentary, thanks.

**They're illegal here. The firecrackers, I mean. Kids are just obnoxious.