listersgirl | Glitter, laudanum and porn

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Glitter, laudanum and porn

Is it possible to own too much cord? I looked at my clothes this morning and realized that
I own 2 cord skirts and 3 pairs of cord pants (which may not sound like a lot, but considering I probably only own 7 pairs of pants all together...). I used to hate cord. I wonder what happened.

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I saw Underworld last weekend, did I mention that? Dude, Kate Beckinsale is hot. But not hot enough to make up for the hideous atrocity that was the acting of Shane Brolly as Kraven. I sure hope this was nepotism at work, because otherwise the casting director was on crack.

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Speaking of hot, when did Harrison from Popular grow up so nice? And for once a pretend TV boyfriend actor is actually my age (rather than way older or way younger), which makes me feel like a bit less of a dork. The show's not that bad either, although soon Gilmore Girls will start (in the same time slot here) so there likely won't be much more watching of Jake 2.0.

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And speaking of Gilmore Girls (wow, my random thoughts are oddly not so random today)...I can't believe it's not starting here until next week. Well, okay, I can believe it, because the same thing happened last year (we were a week behind), but it's taking all my strength to not read comments and recaps.

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So

vestra and I made a deal that we would reward ourselves with non-food related things when we reached pre-determined weight loss goals. Also, there will be glitter and coloured felts and a chart to make things more interesting. Anyway, point is, I only get to buy non-essentials when I reach a goal, which of course just makes me want to run out and buy things RIGHT NOW. I'm really not usually this much of a consumer, but take something away and I wantitneedit. I wonder if I can convince myself that DVDs are a necessity?

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I'm being inundated with calls from both my union and the Canadian Opera Company, so I can't answer the phone at home anymore. Not that I ever did before - I'm a firm believer in the joy of screening - but now I have an actual reason. Because, see, I know what I'm in for if the COC actually catches me on the phone. Last year, after I bought my first 18to29 ticket, someone called to try to convince me to subscribe for the rest of the season. And he would not give up. I tried to tell him that I really wasn't interested in the crowd pleasers that they had programmed, I lied and said I was away for 3 months in the spring, I flat out said no, but still he kept talking. Never again, I tell you. On the bright side, they're calling because I just got nice cheap tickets to Peter Grimes by Benjamin Britten. Apparently it's full of death, "nieces" and laudanum addicts. Should be excellent. I went to university with the understudy for the lead role, so I'm hoping for some sort of non-fatal illness to attack the lead that night.

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The latest Savage Love column is all letters from women who are upset that their boyfriends use porn. Personally, I don't really understand, but it would seem that women who are okay with porn are a rare species, so I'm thinking the easiest way for me to find a boyfriend would be to take out an ad:

Wanted: One boyfriend. Will let you use porn. Will encourage you to use porn. Will use porn with you.

I anticipate many responses to my ad.

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Honestly, I totally understand where these girls are coming from, and I don't know that Savage's response is all that helpful. I think he's basically right, mind you, but if my boyfriend was blowing off sex with me to watch porn (as opposed to just blowing off sex with me and owning porn), I'd be really miserable. And if my boyfriend were buying Juggs or something, I'd find it hard not to take that personally (being an A-cup).

But I do think that when people look at porn, they aren't looking at it in such literal terms. They're looking at pictures of sexual situations, not necessarily wanting to be in those situations, or thinking "Gee, I would love to do that person instead of my significant other." Wanting to see someone naked doesn't necessarily translate to wanting to have sex with that person. Thinking something is attractive doesn't translate to wanting to have it, or to thinking what you do have isn't as good (which is the problem with the Honda/Porsche comparison). I think that's the thing that Savage necessarily obscures with his "all men want to have sex with other women" claptrap. I believe all men think about having sex with other women, but it's not the same thing.

but if my boyfriend was blowing off sex with me to watch porn (as opposed to just blowing off sex with me and owning porn), I'd be really miserable

Oh, yeah, that's a completely different situation, and one that definitely indicates there's a problem in the relationship somewhere. It's just that for the most part, I don't think people are looking at/watching/reading porn because they wish they were in that situation, with that person, instead of with the person they have.

Savage really tends to go for the broad brushstrokes, probably because he's writing for entertainment purposes. And I do think in this case he definitely overshot the mark, although I can understand his basic premise.

I have a girlfriend who counts porn as cheating. Oy.

I figure as long as I read slash, I can't get up in arms about the BF liking porn. Not to mention thinking about sex a lot and being open about fantasies tends to make people better at the whole thing. I prefer the written word to filmed escapades, since my imagination does a better job, but heck yeah, I do the same: let, encourage, use with.

I figure as long as I read slash, I can't get up in arms about the BF liking porn.

I just got to this position after years of being pretty angry about the porn thing. Not that sfd is a raving pornaholic or anything, but I didn't like it (all my low self-esteem and trust issues) and he damn well knew it.

Now I'm the porny one. But I read (and write) it, and don't really get the visual thing as much. It's a complicated issue, and I think Savage was a little ... savage ... as you guys have said.

just got to this position after years of being pretty angry about the porn thing.

Me too. It helps to be with someone who doesn't have guilt issues with it, or seriously wonder if he's attracted to me.

I think it really depends on what you do with it. I mean, I've heard of people openly and nastily comparing their SO's body with the bodies of porn stars, or breaking off sex to go look at porn and "finish off," or all sorts of porn-related behaviour that's really mean and hurtful, but these days I don't think that attitude characterizes all or most porn use, any more than I think most people who drink are alcoholics.

Heh, you sound like the ideal girlfriend.

Is the weight loss healthy? I have a natural distrust of dieting becasue so many people do it badly.

And yes, Kate Beckinsale is hot. Any chance you have porn of her?

No, sorry, no Kate Beckinsale porn. Shame, that. ;)

I'm very much against "dieting" as a concept - it should be about learning to eat healthier (less processed foods, less refined sugar, smaller portions, more vegetables) and really listening to your body. Any diet that talks about evil foods, or says that you should cut things out of your diet completely (like no-fat or super low carb diets) seems very suspect to me, and ultimately bound to fail. How can anyone keep up eating patterns that rely on food substitutes or completely depriving oneself of favourite things? Our new house motto is "More Veggies, Less Crap", which I think really sums it up.

And personally, I'm relying on the power of weight training, yoga and bellydance to allow me to eat pie without guilt.

No, sorry, no Kate Beckinsale porn. Shame, that. ;)

Ditto! Kate rocked!

I enjoyed Underworld, even if there were lots of things I would've done differently if I was one of the PTB.

As for "dieting", we're trying to live by the "mor veggies, less crap" motto too. So far, it seems to be working. (Less, rather than NONE.)

I agree w/ you on the porn thing, so you aren't the only one. Obviously, if your SO is completely obsessed w/ porn, it could be a problem, but so would being completely obsessed w/ anything else. Even before I started reading much slash or other porn myself, I never got the whole not looking at other women thing. Visual erotica doesn't do that much for me, but I'm quite happy to watch all the pretty men on my favorite TV shows. They're pretty, but they aren't real the way someone you actually know is. As long as he isn't going ogling in a rude way, or making derogatory comparisons, I figure you probably need to worry more about a guy who doesn't look want to look at women.

-I hate cord. Don't know why. Totally irrational hatred.

-Underworld: oy, the schmacting. Kate Beckinsale, though? Hot. Scott Speedman? Straggly hair, yet also hot.

-Oh dear lord, Christopher Gorham has turned all kinds of hot and he is my new boyfriend. I can't believe I willingly watched a show with things like 'nanites', or whatever, as a major plot point.

-yay, Gilmore Girls!

-Ah yes, the grand plan. It will be fabulous. I'm buying us a scale today, yay! Then the glittery wall charts can be made, and rewards can be purchased for every few pounds lost-yay!

-I'm a firm, firm believer in call screening, as you well know.

-porn! I'm all for it, in moderation. Absolutely.
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