just got to this position after years of being pretty angry about the porn thing.

Me too. It helps to be with someone who doesn't have guilt issues with it, or seriously wonder if he's attracted to me.

I think it really depends on what you do with it. I mean, I've heard of people openly and nastily comparing their SO's body with the bodies of porn stars, or breaking off sex to go look at porn and "finish off," or all sorts of porn-related behaviour that's really mean and hurtful, but these days I don't think that attitude characterizes all or most porn use, any more than I think most people who drink are alcoholics.